Birth, Death, and Childhood Illness in the Home.

rebhomeopath
Feb 25
6 min read

Updated: Feb 26

We have removed birth and death from the family home, and now, when Childhood Illness arrives, we don't know what to do. By outsourcing birth and death, we have disabled ourselves from dealing with illness too, distancing ourselves from the primal experience of life itself, and disengaging with her cycles. It is no surprise, then, that parents find themselves unequipped to deal with childhood illnesses. Instead of seeing common childhood infections as a natural event, a healthy expression of development from which the child evolves, stronger and ready for new milestones, it is feared.

If we lived according to the laws of family order and nature, in small villages, surrounded by loving, healing, and supportive family members and communities, facing our children's illnesses would be easier because we wouldn't have to do it alone. And because we would have generations of wisdom to draw from and helpful hands to lighten the load.

But for the most part, we live independently, far from family and communities that support us. Our resources are not forests and family, but the internet, pharmacies, and health providers to whom we have been directed to trust as a source of authority. Parents frantically search the internet for ways to treat their child's endless cough or rash after an unhelpful diagnosis of probable eczema, or the lungs are clear. But the doctor is not the village. She does not come home with you and your exhausted child to a messy home and two-week-old soup in the fridge. She is not your grandmother; she is not your aunt. She bears no responsibility once you leave her office. Parents are isolated, left to fend for themselves and their sick children with few skills and little support. But how did we get to this disconnected place?

Some of us remember hearing how their grandfather was born, right here on the kitchen table, or that a great aunt tended to a family elder till her last breath, in the home, amongst animals and small children who understood they were in the presence of a great transition, immediately falling silent (or giggling) at the discomfort of having entered sacred space. There was a time when these grand transitions took place in the family home. We watched the gut-wrenching miracle of birth in all its primal glory, we tended to the passing of faeces and urine, we understood the body vomits up and sweats out what it can't and must not absorb. We heard the wet coughs of our elders whose lungs filled slowly with fluid, as they gasped for air, and took their last breath without the beep-beep-beep of a monitor telling us life was no more. We witnessed life, and we witnessed death. It was not something we visited in the hospital and then left; it was something we experienced and integrated into our lives, in our homes. We washed the bloodied sheets.

When you remove birth and death from the family home, you remove everything that comes with it. The smell of it all, the miracle of it, the moments of uncertainty, the pause of transition, and the force of delivery. The struggle of the mammal within, the powerful force of nature opening the woman's fibres, her muscles stretched, her bones soft, the crowning of the infant's head, the soft squish that accompanies the delivery of the body, the first breath, the delivery of the placenta as the infant crawls, open eyed and conscious, up the mother's abdomen, seeking connection, sustenance and survival. And so too in death. We wait, we watch, we slow our breath down to match that of our loved one, in gentle surrender. No judgment, only trust. We make them comfortable, tending to the needs and functions of the body, without too much interference, supporting them as they move in and out of consciousness. And in these pivotal moments, we learn much.

And when illness arrives, we see that she, too, is a force to be reckoned with — a stark reminder of the fragility of it all. When illness visits, it demands we pay attention. That we put away the trivial pursuits of daily life, and take heed. The body that we take for granted each day now demands respect and attention. It is doing something important. It is fighting for the survival of the organism. Homeostasis has been disturbed, and balance must be restored. The vital life force is running the show now, and you are being called on to support it.

There will be mucous, sweat, urine, and faeces, vomiting, tears, panting, pain, inflammation, rashes, heat, and shivering. There will be demands in the middle of the night to be cooled down, warmed up, fed, and held. There will be changes in moods and tantrums, weakness and impatience, and boredom, so much boredom. And you will be called on to tend to it all. With presence and awareness, herbs and tinctures, oils and massages, baths and rocking, remedies and humour. And then, at some point, after long days and even longer nights, everything will change, and your child, who was so fragile, so weak, so absorbed in his fight for survival that he could barely talk or open his eyes and engage, will spring back, sometimes slowly and sometimes faster than you could have imagined. And the fever will break, the pox will fade, the rash will pass, the mucous will clear, and the cough will settle, and you will have graduated.

If we teach our children that illness is not something to be feared and suppressed but rather a challenge to overcome, a movement from one stage to another, a rebirth as it were, a natural part of life, they will grow up believing and trusting in their ability to fight infection, inflamation and restore imbalance. They will come to understand that birth, death, and rebirth demand respect, patience, awareness, and intelligent response. And if they experience birth and death as an integrated rather than outsourced part of life, perhaps when your time comes, you will find yourself in a warm, familiar space, surrounded by loving hands in the company of animals and small children.

From my book Homeopathy for Acute Family Care - introduction to treating Common Childhood Infections, including Chicken Pox, Slapped Cheek, Hand Foot and Mouth, Impetigo, Measles, Mumps, Roseola, Scarlet Fever, Whooping cough, and post-viral fatigue.

Treat common childhood infections as you would any acute, keeping in mind that the fever is an important part of the immune response and should not be suppressed. The most intense and frequently occurring symptoms should be treated first. Your child is likely to get quite sick with a high fever, terrible mucus production, an intensely sore throat, ear pain, a dry, hard and then lose phlegmy cough which may last months, shivers and chills, bright red, hot, dry cheeks, intense dry heat, and many different viral rashes, from oozing spots to prickling, itchy rashes. We have been spared exposure to many childhood illnesses and often they come as a shock. But if you are prepared, you will be able to nurse your children through.

During outbreaks, vitamin supplements and trace minerals should be increased while the diseases run it’s course. Keep children well hydrated, rested and in a stable temperature, with soft lighting and not too much stimulation or stress, and let them be sick. Expect recovery to take three to four weeks.

Offer warm broths and simple foods such as seasonal fruits in the warmer months and soft, easy-to-digest baked vegetables or soups in the cooler months. Allow plenty of rest time, and encourage gentle activities to reserve energy for healing. Keep their feet warm and discourage walking or sitting on cold tiles. This is the time for puzzles, books, building toys, painting, lap time, cuddles, drawing, and story time. Avoidoverstimulating and violent games and screen time.

These illnesses are generally mild during childhood, though the first few days can be frightening for parents who are not used to seeing their children ill. Remember that they are creating lifelong immunity for themselves, and in females, immunity for their future infants.

Rebecca Bermeister is a certified Classical Homeopath available for online consultations.

She can be reached via her webpage www.rebhomeopath.com

email - rebhomeopath@gmail.com

Whatsapp - +972(0)547793606

FREE digital downloads and other learning materials (PDF) may be found here

Managing Fevers - A Parent's Guide.